Unbelievably Desperate
by Sassy-Vixen
Summary: Sequel to: Desperate. It seems like Sasuke and Sakura will never get any privacy now that their kids have been born. Six years and still looking for a baby sitter? These kids know trouble...and guess what they've discovered? Chapter 7 is up! OMG!
1. Privacy, The Limited Edition

**Unbelievably Desperate: **Privacy, the Limited Edition

**Summary: **It seems like Sasuke and Sakura will never get any privacy now that their kids have been born. Six years and still looking for a baby sitter? These kids know trouble...and guess what they've discovered?

**A/N: **I'm incredibley bored so I thought I'd start the sequel ehehe...I've been thinking about the fic and stuff and got 1 review saying how it wasn't worth reading the sequel...well, read it and see what you think! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto but I do own Misaki and Ryuu.

**Dialogue:**

_'Thoughts'_

'Dialogue'

'**_Flashback'_**

**----------xxx**

"Misaki-chan, Ryuu-kun!" a now 18 year old mother of two Uchiha Sakura called. She and Sasuke were sitting at the table of their residence in the Uchiha village. Sasuke was rocking on his chair reading the paper and Sakura was reading the latest issue of...um...Woman's Weekly!

"Hai oka-san?" chimed a young girl at the age of six.

"Hurry, it's time for you to go to the academy. Don't want to be late now!" Sakura playfully scolded.

Misaki and Ryuu nodded as they each grabbed a lunch box and placed it into their bags. Sakura leaned over and Misaki and Ryuu gently placed a goodbye kiss on each side of her cheeks. They turned to their father Sasuke and Misaki gave him a kiss first.

"Have fun at the academy." Sasuke smirked.

Ryuu walked up to him and went to kiss him.

"No son of mine is gay! You don't need a kiss." Sasuke said as he backed away. He looked back at his hurt son and gave him a hug. "Off you go bud."

Sakura giggled. "Remember when they were first born?"

_**---Flashback---**_

_**Sakura was in labour and had been for a while now. Sasuke walked in and had been holding her hand since. Doctor Ayami had been busy at Sakura's **__**other end were Sasuke had previously been and was demanding her to push.**_

_**"Push Sakura! I think I can see a head!" the doctor yelled.**_

_**"Shut the fuck up if you know what's good for you!" Sakura spat pushing. Her hand was tightly wrapped around Sasuke's wrist. A huge pain went **__**through Sakura's body.**_

_**"SASUKE-KUN!" she screamed. **_

_**No reply. He just stood there looking purple from his circulation being cut off. Sakura let go and clutched the bed sheets. Not long after Sasuke **__**regained consciousness. He looked at the state Sakura was in and held his hand to his mouth. "Oh my god!" he yelled running out.**_

_**"No good piece of shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" she yelled as one final push delivered her baby.**_

_**"Congratulations Sakura. It's a gir- We got another one!" Doctor Ayami yelled pacing the room. Sakura started pushing again. Sasuke came back **__**when he heard the congratulations. He opened the door. **_

_**"What the hell?" he asked looking at the unconscious doctor on the floor. Skid marks had led to a metal tray which had smashed utensils around it on the floor. **_

_**"People these day's gotta be more careful. At the pharmacy they atleast had a sign.."**_

_**"Sasuke! I'm having anoooooooooooooother baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaby!" she belched pushing. **_

_**"Um...ah...what do I do!?!?!?!" he yelled pacing. He too, slipped on the floor and smashed his skull against the metal tray and fell unconscious. **_

_**"Stuuuuuuuuuuupid Retarddddddddd!" she yelled with another push.**_

_**---End Flashback---**_

Misaki and Ryuu were now...as I mentioned before six. But, the unsual thing about these kids were there appearances. Ryuu, the six year old boy had **pink** hair instead of Sasuke's jet/raven black and Sasuke's dark eyes. Upset by his son's hair, Sasuke has successfully taught him to jell his hair up to the max and give it a chick magnet look.

Misaki was the quieter of the two and looked more like Sasuke. She had Sasuke's jet/raven black hair but had Sakura's jade eyes. Sasuke had decided from day one he was going to create a little army of mini Uchiha's and take down the Akatsuki. Right now, his number one man..er...girl was Misaki, who had mastered the Sharingan at the age of four! Although, time to time Sasuke did get incredibly jealous and often challenged her to duels just to show who's boss.

Sasuke spent most of his time training with Misaki and her sharingan. He told Misaki to befriend her worst enemy, so their easier to kill when it comes to grasping the Mangekyou. While Sasuke and Misaki where doing that, Sakura was teaching her son Ryuu to control chakra and use it for illusionary and healing techniques.

"Ahhh yes...I remember the twins birthdays like they were yesterday.." sighed Naruto who just randomly appeared out of nowhere, breaking Sakura's trance.

"How the hell did you get in here dobe?" asked Sasuke.

"Well, Tsunade-baa-chan has an important mission for you two, and it's even more important for me!" he cheered.

Sasuke sighed and slapped his forehead. "I **hate** important missions.."

---Hokage's Office---

As Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto walked into the room, the first thing they noticed was a sleeping hokage. Sasuke and Sakura took a seat next to each other while Naruto pulled something out of his pockets.

"Firecrackers?" asked Sasuke.

"Naruto are you an idiot?" asked Sakura wide eyed.

"Partially." he replied setting them alight.

He lit the rope thing (Oo) too close to the cracker and half the rope thing burnt off. "Oh shit! oh shit! oh shit!" he yelled throwing the cracker around the room in his hands.

**BANG!**

Tsunade yawned as she looked up to a charred Naruto, a shamed out Sakura and a hand slapped on foreheaded Sasuke.

"Oh, good morning shinobi."

"Good morning Tsunade!" they all chimed except Sasuke cos he was just too shocked at Naruto's stupidity.

"I have a urgent mission for Uchiha Sasuke..." she started darkly. "And a **Haruno** Sakura."

"Tsunade, get over it. This is the times now. Sakura is now my bitch and is to be called **UCHIHA!**"

Tsunade sighed. "Whatever. Anyway, while the **'Uchiha's' **are doing their important mission, Naruto will be babysitting."

Naruto gasped. "No...no, please no! Not...the...TERROR TWINS!"

"Shut up dobe, you haven't even babysat them before." Sasuke snapped.

"I know, just making it more exciting for the readers!"

**----------xxx**

First chappie to the sequel! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah! Ahem...ohwell. It wasn't that bad was it? Atleast I didn't think so. Oh well, only time will tell. So! Please

R&R!

-J.E SAKURA woops caps..


	2. Lovin'

**Unbelievabley Desperate: **Lovin'

**A/N:** I'm sooooooo sorry I took heaps long updating! But! you see...nope...got no reason, i'm just really sorry that's all xD I hope you enjoy this chappie!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! **Although I wish I did...

**----------xxxBeware, this scene is very OOC!**

Sasuke and Ryuu stood infront of their stereo. A little black thing with two HUGE speakers on the sides.

"Ready? And don't screw this one up!" Sasuke glared at his son as the music began to play.

Misaki stood behind the lounge and sighed. "You guys are idiots..."

"Shut up Misaki or you'll join us!!!" Ryuu spat as he turned around and delivered a nasty face at his sister.

Sasuke grunted and slapped his son over the head. "Concentrate! Positions!"

Ryuu knelt down on one knee and held his hands out infront of him and did the 'spider man' hand thingies...trying to look like a rap artist. Sasuke did the same but stood up and only had one hand in the position. He held a microphone up to his mouth and froze.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun, you forgot your shades!" yelled Sakura walking in and standing beside Misaki.

"God, thanks Sakura. Ryuu restart the song." he ordered grabbing the shades off Sakura and putting them on.

Ryuu pressed the restart button and regained his place next to his dad.

_**'Yo Vanilla kick it one time boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooy!'**_

_**'Yo VIP...let's kick it!'**_

_**Ice Ice Baby, Ice Ice Baby**_

_**  
All right stop, Collaborate and listen  
Ice is back with my brand new invention  
Something grabs a hold of me tightly  
Then I flow like a harpoon daily and nightly  
Will it ever stop? Yo - I don't know  
Turn off the lights and I'll glow  
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal  
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.  
**_

Sasuke began to mime the words while Ryuu was pretending to rap like a retard. Sakura and Misaki burst out into hysterics at the once serious Uchiha.

_**  
Dance, Bum rush the speaker that booms  
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom  
Deadly, when I play a dope melody  
Anything less than the best is a felony  
Love it or leave it, You better gain way  
You better hit bull's eye, The kid don't play  
If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it  
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it **_

Ice Ice Baby...Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby...Vanilla  
Ice Ice Baby...Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby...Vanilla

Now that the party is jumping  
With the bass kicked in, the Vegas are pumpin'  
Quick to the point, to the point no faking  
I'm cooking MCs like a pound of bacon  
Burning them if they're not quick and nimble  
I go crazy when I hear a cymbal  
And a hi hat with a souped up tempo  
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo  
Rollin' in my 5. 0  
With my ragtop down so my hair can blow  
The girlies on standby, Waving just to say Hi  
Did you stop? No - I just drove by  
Kept on pursuing to the next stop  
I busted a left and I'm heading to the next block  
That block was dead  
Yo - so I continued to A1A Beachfront Ave.  
Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis  
Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis  
Jealous 'cause I'm out geting mine  
Shay with a gauge and Vanilla with a nine  
Reading for the chumps on the wall  
The chumps acting ill because they're so full of "Eight Ball"  
Gunshots ranged out like a bell  
I grabbed my nine - All I heard were shells  
Falling on the concrete real fast  
Jumped in my car, slammed on the gas  
Bumper to bumper the avenue's packed  
I'm trying to get away before the jackers jack  
Police on the scene, You know what I mean  
They passed me up, confronted all the dope fiends  
If there was a problem, You, I'll solve it  
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla  
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla

Take heed, 'cause I'm a lyrical poet  
Miami's on the scene just in case you didn't know it  
My town, that created all the bass sound  
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground  
'Cause my style's like a chemical spill  
Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel  
Conducted and formed, This is a hell of a concept  
We make it hype and you want to step with this  
Shay plays on the fade, slice like a ninja  
Cut like a razor blade so fast, Other DJs say, "damn"  
If my rhyme was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram  
Keep my composure when it's time to get loose  
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice  
If there was a problem, Yo - I'll solve it!  
Check out the hook while Deshay revolves it.

Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla  
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla

Yo man - Let's get out of here! Word to your mother!

Ice Ice Baby.. Too cold, Ice Ice Baby ..Too cold Too cold  
Ice Ice Baby ..Too cold Too cold, Ice Ice Baby ..Too cold Too cold

Sasuke smirked. "I **am **a ninja genius."

**----------xxxOkay, the real deal xD**

The bedroom was quiet as Ryuu steathily walked in and poked Misaki's bare arm, making her stir in her sleep.

"What!?" she grumpily yelled as her eyes shot open into Sharingan.

"Man...that's so not fair that you get Sharingan..."

"You woke me up just to tell me that?" Misaki glared evilly.

"No..."

Misaki rolled over to face her bedside table. She glanced at the alarm clock and back at Ryuu with a pissed look.

"IT'S 4 IN THE FREAKING MORNING!" Misaki spat, sending Ryuu down in a shower of spit.

"Shhh! Mum and Dad are asleep!"

"No freaking shit genius." Misaki retorted.

"Don't swear! Or I'll tell mum!"

"God, your such a child. Why'd you wake me up? I have intense training with dad today, before he leaves."

"I wanted to do something nice for them before they leave...like cook dinner or something."

"And you want to tell me this at 4 o'clock in the morning because...?" Misaki asked sarcastically.

"To plan ahead."

"God you retard. Talk about it later, in like 10 hours!" yelled Misaki before she covered her face up with her doona covers and turned her back to Ryuu.

Ryuu sighed. "Fine, I'll go back to sleep too!"

---

(Even though Misaki and Ryuu were only 5 minutes apart, Misaki always acted like the older one; and Ryuu the more immature and slow one.)

---

A few more hours passed and everybody in the house was awake.

Misaki and Sasuke were outside sparring before breakfast and Ryuu was helping Sakura set the table.

"Mum, why does dad act like he likes Misaki better than me?" Ryuu sighed, placing a plate down.

"He loves you hunny. We both do...he's always been unaffectionate..."

"But why is he always sparring with Misaki and not me?"

"Because he's an ass...I mean...umm just because he spars with Misaki, doesn't necessarily mean he likes Misaki more. Ask him to spar with you too." Sakura smiled.

"Okay!"

Sakura set breakfast down on the table; pancakes.

Smelling the scent, Sasuke stopped in his tracks and halted Misaki.

"What is it Sasuke?" asked Misaki. She hated the idea of calling him 'dad'

"Pancakes." he whispered harshly.

Misaki slapped her forehead and followed her father inside.

Sasuke immediately opened the door and sat down.

"Sakura, syrup me!"

Sakura nodded and passed him the syrup. Sasuke curiously looked at the bottle in disgust.

"What the hell is this? Golden syrup? I WANT MAPLE!" he yelled as he threw the open bottle, which happened to hit a smiling Ryuu, who was sitting across from Sasuke.

"What the hell are you smiling at?" Sasuke snapped as Sakura placed the maple syrup beside him.

"Dad, will you spar with me?"

Sasuke was shocked. His son had never taken an interest in training like Misaki had. He was happy and confused at the same time, and didn't know how to respond.

"Uh...umm..but-you-don't-have-any-skills." he blurted out.

Ryuu's head immediately dropped. "Y-yes, that's true..."

"Sasuke-kun! Train with him!" Sakura snapped as she placed a pancake on his plate.

Sasuke sighed in defeat. "Okay, but later."

---

Afternoon had arrived and Sasuke and Sakura were indulging in a bit of afternoon delight, Misaki was out in the backyard training and Ryuu was pacing the loungeroom, awaiting his father.

"Where is he? Mum was supposed to get him."

Ryuu began to walk down the large hall clad with pictures of the Uchiha and Haruno family. He came to the last door of the hall and heard strange noises.

"Saaaaaaaasuke-kuuuun!" someone moaned/yelled.

"Oh no! Mum and Dad are fighting!" Ryuu cried as he pushed the door open to see Sasuke and Sakura; butt naked.

"Dad...? Are we going to spar?" asked Ryuu.

"Ah...son, can't you see I'm sparring with your mum?" Sasuke asked.

Sakura giggled and then gained a serious face. "Sasuke-kun...go train."

"Awww dammit!" Sasuke sighed as he got up. "Meet me outside."

Ryuu ran down the hall. A biiiiiiiiig smile on his cute little face.

---

"So dad, when you and mum were sparring...who won?" Ryuu asked as he entered his fighting stance.

"Me of course." Sasuke smirked as he entered his stance.

"Now, just because your my son I'm not going easy on you...got it?"

Ryuu nodded and began to charge. His fist outstretched and aimed at Sasuke. Sasuke easily dodged it and watched as his son's fist hammered into the earth, making the ground around them shake.

"Holy crap Sakura, You taught him super strength?" Sasuke thought outloud as he managed to dodge another vicious blow from his son. Sasuke swiftly moved behind his son and tripped him using his leg. Ryuu stumbled as his legs were kicked off the ground, and landed flat on his face. Sasuke paused.

"You got some good strength there. I'll train you with Misaki when I come back." Sasuke smirked offering a hand to help his son up.

"Really?"

Sasuke nodded.

---

Misaki and Ryuu were behind the bench of the kitchen.

"Okay, I'll do the wok work and you fix the salad!" Misaki ordered as she grabbed a jar.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" she yelled trying to twist the lid off. Ryuu swiftly grabbed the jar out of Misaki's grasp and easily twisted the lid.

"Hmph, I loosened it."

Ryuu poked his tongue out as he pulled out a head of lettuce from the fridge. He pulled off the plastic bag and began to hack at it with a large chopping knife.

"Careful." Misaki warned.

---

Sasuke and Sakura sat at the table of the residence dressed ready for the mission and waited as patiently as their growling stomaches would permit. Misaki walked out of the kitchen with piping hot meals on two plates and placed them infront of her parents. Ryuu followed and placed two bowls of salad beside the meal.

"Mmm, looks good kids!" Sakura smiled. "Thankyou!"

Sasuke glanced at the salad and picked through it with a fork. His eyes almost burst out of his head when he noticed the large pool of French salad dressing waiting at the bottom of the forest of lettuce.

"Umm yeah, looks good." he said cautiously as he began to eat the salad.

Sakura started on Misaki's meal and smirked. "It's really good Misaki!"

Minutes passed as the two little Uchiha's watched their parents devour the meal they had prepared. By now, Sakura had also noticed the large pool of salad dressing awaiting her at the bottom of the bowl.

"Ummm, Ryuu? How much salad dressing did you use?" she asked picking up a few strands of lettuce and watched as the salad dressing ran like water out of a tap off the lettuce.

"The whole bottle!" he smirked.

Sasuke forked up all the lettuce his fork could muster and shoved the dripping salad into his mouth. Sasuke's eyes went wide as he choked on the dressing.

Ryuu smiled as he slapped his dad on the back and the lettuce shot out of Sasuke's mouth and onto an unsuspecting Naruto who just let himself in.

"Ewww...uh...Babysitter is here!"

**xxx----------**

There, a nice long chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed it.

Yeah, Sasuke was ooc but who cares. My fanfic, my ooc sasuke! xD'

Oh yeah...the salad thing happened to me, and I thought it'd be funny to put it in xP

R&R!

-S.V

P.S! While just reading over it now, i happened to notice yeh, i did rush it and yeh, little kids swear, but its a fic...as Fanfiction says...'**_unleash your _****_imagination'_** not 'Flame Vixen cos her fanfic sucked.'

I hope it's enough till next time, and sasuke will be more serious.


	3. Gone Skatin'

**Unbelievabley Desperate: Gone Skatin'**

**A/N:** I'm sooooooo sorry I took heaps long updating there is a reason! The reason is on the latest chappie of 'This Life' hehe..

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! **Although I wish I did...

--------xxx

"Alright, well, your in Naruto's hands now. I'm sure he'll take care of you. Remember, bed time is 9:30pm sharp and no going outside!" Sakura playfully warned.

"Take care Naruto, and don't do anything I wouldn't!"

"_Good luck, Misaki and Ryuu...wouldn't be suprised if we came back and your dead."_ Sasuke murmured.

"What teme?!" Naruto yelled.

"Nothing dobe. Ok, see you guys tomorrow." Sasuke waved as he walked out the door.

"Love you!" Sakura said as she kissed Ryuu and Misaki on the cheeks. She then followed Sasuke out the door.

"_Love you..."_ Naruto whispered.

"Did you just say you loved our mum?" Misaki asked, wide eyed.

"No!"

"Hmm...I think I should tell dad." Ryuu added, stroking his chin.

"Um...don't! I'll...umm...give you Ramen!" Naruto pleaded.

"We don't like Ramen." Misaki and Ryuu said in unison.

"Ah, that explains why your related to Sasuke-teme."

Misaki folded her arms. "I'm bored. Entertain me."

"Ok! Want to hear my amazing story of how I managed to fit 20 bowls of ramen in my mouth, _without _chewing or swallowing?"

"Not...really..." Ryuu said.

"Ok, umm...how about...Hide and Seek?" Naruto asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What? How old do you think we are?" Misaki snorted.

"Um..four?" Naruto replied, confused.

Ryuu slapped his head. Then, he was slapped by Misaki. "Stop trying to act like me and Sasuke!"

Naruto was just really...confused. "So, I'll count. You can go out the back, but not the front."

"Watch out for the traps in the backyard." Ryuu and Misaki warned.

Naruto gulped. "Why do you guys have traps in your backyard?"

"Um..Duh, training...and intruders." Misaki sighed. "Now, go count!"

---

Naruto sat on the lounge and covered his face. Ninja hide and seek was very hard, but fun none the less. '_Uh...what comes after 10?'_ he thought. '_Never mind, I'll just count to ten five times...maybe I'll take a quick peek to see if they're ready.'_

Misaki and Ryuu were concealed on the roof of their room, with a sheet that looked like the ceiling. They each created a clone, that both ran into the backyard, to throw Naruto off. And because Naruto was peeking, he fell for it.

"Ready or not, Here I come!"

First, he slid open the screen door and peered around. No one was out in the open, so that made his job harder. He poked his head in through a bush, but pulled it back out, now with a face full of prickles. "Not there."

Naruto stepped forward, and turned his head to the side. Ryuu's clone looked as though it was ducking in through a bush, pretending not to notice. The fox boy just smirked. He started tiptoeing towards where Ryuu's clone had hidden.

"Ha, I found you- AHHHHHH!" Naruto yelled as he fell into a ditch.

"Dammit! Why didn't I notice that?!?"

"Sounds like he fell in the ditch Oto-san keeps." Ryuu whispered.

"We'll know for sure when we hear the scream." Misaki replied.

Naruto looked underneath him to see what had broken his fall. Naruto smiled when he saw a cake of Ramen noodles under his hand.

"Ah, the miracle of Ramen." he smiled to himself. But then...he turned around.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Misaki grinned evilly. "He fell in."

Naruto's eyes watered so much, the Ramen cake under his hand looked like it had been boiled. Underneath Naruto, was thousand of Ramen cakes smashed down into compost, being eaten alive by...WORMS!

The fox boy wiped his tears away and saluted the crushed ramen. "I'll get revenge on that bastard!"

---

Misaki and Ryuu were now in the lounge watching television, when a Naruto, whose pants were full of compost, and most of his mouth too, came in, looking rather vengeful.

"Can we help you?" Misaki asked. "Oh, it's just Naruto. Have a nice trip? Haven't seen you lately." she smirked.

"I want to die."

"That can be arranged." Ryuu replied, stroking his chin.

"Your dad, will pay. I'll crush his bones like he did to the ramen. I'll chop him up and feed him to the worms I-ll-" Naruto started.

"Hey, don't talk about my dad that way, bitch." Ryuu said standing up, puffing out his chest, trying to look cool.

"Oooooooo! What are you gonna do little man? Huh, Whatcha gonna do?" Naruto teased, poking his chest.

BAM!

Right in the nose, with super strength. Naruto fell over and onto the couch. KO!

"Woops." Ryuu laughed.

"Yeah, woops, you baka! Quick, we gotta do something about the nose bleed." Misaki yelled, running down the hall into her mothers bathroom. "Mum might have something in the medical kit."

Ryuu chased after her. Once in the bathroom, Misaki flipped on the light and climbed onto the sink. She slid open the mirror cabnet and checked through the boxes...coming across...oh no...tampons...

"Hey, this box." Misaki said, pulling out a green box. Ryuu clambered onto the sink to read over her shoulder.

"What's it say?" Ryuu asked.

"I don't know...ummm...well it says something something insert in an upright position..." Misaki said slowly. "Go sit him up."

Ryuu nodded. "Hey Misaki. Wanna go skating after?" he smirked, holding up a packet of pads.

"Sure why not. Now sit him up!"

---

Ryuu tried to support the 18-year olds head up, while Misaki unwrapped the bullet thingy and took off the clear wrapping.

"Okay Naruto, this won't hurt a bit." Misaki smiled, gently pushing the tampon up his nose. "Where'd you put the pads?"

"They're right here." Ryuu replied, taking out four slim pads and taking the packing off. "They're pretty slim."

"Oh well."

---

Misaki and Ryuu walked out of their rooms with there roller blades on, pads attached to their knees and elbows, gloves on and helmets.

"Let's go!" Ryuu smiled.

"Wait, I'll write a note." Misaki yelled, grabbing a piece of paper out of their room and writing: "Gone Skating, Be back later." She skated down the hall and sat the note on Naruto's lap.

"Let's roll."

----------xxx

Ah...the joys of pads and tampons. Anyway, R&R and tell me what you think. Also, a thank you to my Beta. Good job!

-S.V

P.S Yes, this was quick


	4. Well Isn't That Just Peachy?

**Unbelievabley Desperate:** Well isn't that just Peachy?

**A/N:** I'm very _very_ afraid and concerned about my humor. It seems to have flown away and gone to live with my friend, Kyle. Because, when I'm with her, that's when my humor comes out. Strange, maybe. Annnnyway, I'm very very bored because no one ever talks to me on MSN, because they are all too busy playing _World of Warcraft_, but once I get my net I shall join them!

In the meantime, if any of you want to chat about random crap (Hey, it's who I am) add me on Sassy underscore Vixen at hotmail dot com...hehe dot...Oo

Ok...Just read the fic!

Warning: I editted it by myself, so if theres any mistakes, tell me in the review and i'll fix em.

**----------xxx**

"NAAAAAARUUUUUUUUUUUUTOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" came a high pitched screech, sounding like a million chalk, twigs, sharp nails etc were scraping against a chalkboard, car paint, metal, paper. (Seriously, I just named all the crap that makes me shudder.)

Naruto's eyes slowly flickered open and a feeling as though the skin of his nostrils were splitting apart hit him hard, almost like the awesome punch Ryuu had gave the night before, which literally rearranged his face.

"S-sakura-chan?" he yawned, rubbing his prettiful blue eyes...(Hmm...someone shoot me now. I'm starting to think Naruto is cute!!!! ...not as cute as the Uchiha boys though...)

"Morning Dobe..." Sasuke called casually, walking in rather 'cool' and 'hip' as Gai-sensei would describe.

"DON'T YOU DARE CASUALLY 'MORNING DOBE' HIM. DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!" Sakura screamed, almost bringing the house down while Naruto and Sasuke blocked their ears.

"Er, yes. Your son smashed my face with your 'super strength' THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" Naruto spat back, with implied playfulness, if you even call that playful.

"I don't give a flying frick that your face was smashed in and that MY tampons are-wait a tic...MY TAMPONS! WHERE'D YOU GET THOSE?"

"I HAVE NO FREAKIN' CLUE. I WAS KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS!...but if I don't get it out soon, my nostril is going to split." Naruto said, saying the last part rather calmly while fumbling around with the end. "Sakura-chan, how do you get these things out?"

"Kami your hopeless...You pull the end. See? There's a string!" Sakura yelled, fumbling for the end.

Meanwhile, Sasuke had gone outside and picked up two sleeping childern, who had been found on the nice lawn...if there's even a lawn...HEY! I don't live there! Got a problem? Ask Sasuke or Sakura!

"OH YEAH! Why were my childern found outside asleep on the grass? I leave you for one night and you screw things up!"

"Yes okaasan! He lured us out the front with promises of candy!" Ryuu whined, fake crying and covering his eyes.

"Oh bull! Look what you did to my nose!" Naruto said, pointing a finger at his nose and in Ryuu's face.

"It was all in self defense!" Ryuu cried.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Naruto screamed, holding his hands out and for Ryuu's throat.

"AIYEEEEEEEE! NARUTO LOVES OKAASAN!" He screamed girlishly.

"Nani?" The three...er, adults? said in unison, confuzzled.

"Care to explain dobe?" Sasuke asked, walking infront of Naruto and cracking his knuckles.

"Yes, but first CAN WE GET THIS FRICKIN' TAMPON OUT OF MY NOSE!"

"Oh yeah...you see, we thought last night the string would irritate him...so we sorta cut it off..." Misaki said, poking her pointer fingers together in a Hinata type fashion.

"YOU WHAT?!?!?" The three adults, once again yelled in unison.

"Oh kami. Let me get some scissors." Sakura sighed, holding her head in one hand in a bothered, fashion.

"Are you going to cut it out?" Naruto asked, shaking.

"No, we're going to cut your nostril." Misaki sighed.

"No duh captain obvious!" Ryuu teased, poking his tongue.

"Great, getting this removed is going to tickle." Naruto said with implied sarcasm. "Now isn't that just frickin' Peachy."

---

So, everyone sat at the table. Sakura had successfully removed the bloodied tampon with a pair of nose-hair clippers (ehehe...) and the tampon was now sitting in the middle of the kitchen table, putting Naruto's blood all over the place.

"Yuk...Almost looks like the real thing..." Sakura said in disgust, scrunching her nose.

"You can talk..." muttered Sasuke.

"What was that?" Sakura asked, turning her head slowly to face the Uchiha.

"Nothing...anyway, what are we doing now? I'm bored..."

"Well, why don't you tell us about your mission?" Naruto said, shooing flies from his face...yes, who knows how they got there.

"Ok, I had to seduce Sa- DA! I MEAN an assassin...yeah...let's go with that and Sakura here had to take them out."

"You mean you seduced a guy?"

"Actually, it looked more like an 'it', didn't it Sakura?" Sasuke asked, taking a sip of coffee which Misaki had just brought to him.

"It was a girl, Sasuke. And, she was quite _beautiful._" Sakura said, with complete jealousy.

"Hn, whatever. No one's beauty could match your...favourite celebrity, JENNIFER HAWKINS!"

"Sasuke-kun, ONE Jennifer isn't even known to us, TWO, she's not my favourite, and THREE you should be complimenting ME!"

"Whew, good call Sasuke. Personally, I would of said Ayumi Hamasaki or Rie Fu (Rie Fu does the ending of Bleach. Check out her other songs, and if you don't know who Ayumi Hamasaki is, I suggest you either commit suicide before I find you or download 'You' or 'Angel's Song' or any other one you can find.)

"Ahh yes. Rie Fu.."

"Oh yeah...one thing about last night...WHY THE HELL IS THERE A FREAKING RAMEN DITCH IN YOUR BACKYARD!" Naruto cried dramatically.

"So annoying people like you fall in them and never come back. Simple." He replied, taking another sip of his hot drink.

"I...no comment..." Naruto said, walking off. "If anyone needs me, I'll be-"

"We know Naruto, eating Ramen..." Misaki droaned.

"Exactly." And with that, Naruto walked off.

"We are NEVER hiring that retard EVER again." Sasuke sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Agreed. But, we have another mission coming up. Who's going to babysit?" Sakura asked.

"Oh! Couldn't we come?" Ryuu asked, eyes shinning brightly and his little hands clasped together, full of hope.

"NO!" Sasuke yelled, running a hand up side his son's head. "Are you a retard?"

"Yes..." Misaki muttered under her breath.

"Fine. Who shall the next babysitter be then?"

**----------xxx**

Words to describe this chapter. Boring. Dull. Unfunny, short...yes. I'm sorry! Please, review!

Ja Ne (implied sadness)

-S.V

P.S I've posted another fic up, it's called 'Road Trip'. It's short because i've only got the Prologue up but there's a couple of jokes. In my retarded opinion, give it a read xP


	5. And The Next Babysitter is

**Unbelievabley Desperate:** And the Next Babysitter is...

**A/N:** Wow, I just finished reading the last chapter and I seriously need to slap my self in the face. Here I am, at school telling everybody to not bag themselves and say something positive while I bag my own stuff. JEEEZ.

Anywhooo, I'm deticating this chapter to Kattylin, because she's been there for me all the way since 'Desperate' first started out, which is near 180 reviews. Thanks so much guys if you reviewed it. Also, thanks for reviewing Unbelievabley Desperate aswell. I've thought up a 3rd project in the 'Desperate' line. w00t t00t! Enjoy!

**xxx----------**

"Sasuke-kuuuun..." Sakura quietly, playfully and cutely cooed, trying to wake the sleeping hunk next to her. "Are you awake Sasuke-kuuuun?"

"I am now cause of your annoying 'Sasuke-kuuun'." He replied bothered and girlishly. "I'm trying to sleep here." The Sharingan user grunted and turned on his side.

"Fine. You asked for it." Sakura sighed, dipping her finger into her mouth. Acting like nothing suspiscious was about to be lodged into Sasuke's ear, she began giving playful kisses all up his neck, which made him grin widely...until something wet and skinny was rocketed into his ear.

"Wet Willy!" Sakura cheered, while Sasuke coiled in disgust.

"Eww, yuck! Feral!"

"Get up."

"Fine fine..." Sasuke groaned sitting up. "Bitch." He mumbled as he stumbled to the bathroom.

"I heard that!" Sakura called from behind.

---

Two pissed off Uchiha boys sat at the table slouched, while the Uchiha female sat rather perkily opposite from them.

"What's wrong with you?" Ryuu grunted to Sasuke, which to him sounded like "Wet Willy".

"Oh damn. She got that with you too bro?" Ryuu replied, trying to be all R'n'Bish and stuff.

"Stop talking like that retard. FIRST your ASIAN and NOT BLACK. Grow some brains." Sasuke snapped.

"Well SORRY!"

"Shut up you two." Misaki spat. "I'm trying to eat my breakfast." She said while shovelling cereal into her mouth.

"Hey wait..." Sasuke began, scanning the table. "Where's Sakura? And more importantly, where's my breakfast?! THIS ISN'T BUSH WEEK SAKURA!"

"Oh kami! If you read the note pinned to Ryuu's head you'd know..." Misaki spat back, evilly eyeing the older, dominant male. Ryuu reached up and felt around his head whilst Sasuke directed him.

"Warmer. Oh wait, colder. No! You were so warm!"

"Oh for frick sakes! HERE!" Misaki yelled, pulling the sticky note off of Ryuu's head and bringing most of his pink hair with it. "Sasuke...and the other male. Tsunade has called me in early because of an emergency. Eat the cup Ramen in the cupboard. Love Sakura."

"Well this is great!" Ryuu sighed sarcastically while Sasuke was twitching violently as if he was going to explode.

"I...HATE...RAMEN!"

"And I hate you but we can't have it our way all the time." Misaki grinned, picking up her bowl and putting it by the sink. "I'll be outside."

"Come back here Misaki!" Sasuke ordered, slamming his fist down onto the table. "Your a female. Make. Me. My. Breakfast."

"Make it yourself! All you have to do is peel the lid and boil the kettle!"

"But...but...but!"

"BUT WHAT?!?" Misaki yelled, shaking the house.

"Promise not to laugh?" Sasuke whispered, his fingers pressing together innocently like Hinata's would.

"Laugh at what?"

"I-i d-don't know h-how to use the k-kettle."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! THAT'S RICH!" Ryuu laughed heartily.

"SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW EITHER!" Sasuke yelled back.

"Kami. Are you freaking serious?" Misaki asked, dumbfounded. "How the hell do you get tea's every morning then?"

"Ah, duuuuh! Sakura does that."

"Oh, and does she dress you too?" Misaki teased childishly and grinned. Her grin faded when she noticed Sasuke's eyes dart around the room, avoiding contact. "Holy crap, your not kidding!"

---

"I'm baaaaaaaaaack!" Sakura called cheerfully, shutting the front door behind her. She narrowed her eyes when she noticed the house was quiet...too quiet. The Uchiha residence was NEVER quiet.

"What's...going on here?"

"Hi okaasan." Misaki called from the kitchen, as something just went in the frypan and made that noise. Shkshshkshkskshhhh.

"Where are the boys?"

"Don't know don't care. Why?"

"Because Sasuke and I have to go on an urgent mission..." Sakura said, eyeing the room. "And I have to get a babysitter on short notice."

"I can help!" Came a mysterious voice.

"KIBA?!?!?! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN HERE?!?!?!" Sakura stammered as the energetic dog boy miracuously jumped through the door.

"The question is, Sakura, how DIDN'T I get in here?"

"Oh...kay...I'm going to go and find Sasuke." The older woman eyed as she stepped backwards into the hall and passed the linen closet...which was making a strange muffled noise.

"Mfmfmmfffmm!"

Curiously, Sakura opened the closet and jumped back when the Uchiha males fell out. "Why the hell didn't you use the 'Untying Rope' technique thing!" Ryuu yelled, regaining his breath.

"Why didn't you?!?!!" Sasuke retorted.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO USE IT!"

"TIME OUT!" Sakura screamed, making both boys cover their ears instantly. "Sasuke-kun, we have another mission. We need a babysitter."

**---------xxx**

Now before you all hate me, there's a reason It's short. It'd be weird if I carried it on, because there goes my next chapter. Now, would you rather a short _and_ long chapter (next chappie) or just a chapter? Anyway, R&R!

-S.V


	6. Territories

**Unbelievabley Desperate:** Territories

**A/N:** Woah, been a while! Well, tonight night, I was sitting down watching Futurama, and I thought...I wanna write a new fanfic, and then I thought, it'd be mean if I didn't update first, ne?

So here I am, with an hour on the computer to update two fanfics and create a new one. We'll all know what happened if I don't come to school tomorrow...

**----------xxx----------**

"...Didn't you hear me when I burst through the door saying 'I can help!'? And then you said 'KIBA!?!?!?! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN HERE??!?!'? and then I said-"

"Shut up, I hate flashbacks and recaps!" Sasuke yelled. "I hate them even more when Sassy-Vixen does them!"

"Oi! It takes part of the chapter away that I could've written. Now you wouldn't want that, would you Sasuke-_kun_." Sassy retorted, crossing her arms.

"Fine fine. Look, we've gotta go and stuff. I'm trusting you Kiba. Let me down, and I take away your refrigerator privileges!" Sakura smirked evilly, eyeing the dog boy.

"Ouch, okay. Promise."

"Alrighty chooks," Sakura smiled, bending down towards her two children. "I'm...I mean, 'we're' off, so we'll hopefully see you tomorrow. Love you," kissing them both on the forehead, Kiba on his knee's next to them.

"I wouldn't push your luck, Inuzuka." Sasuke glared down, sharingan activated.

----------

"So, what do you want to do tonight?" Ryuu asked, looking at Kiba who was lying across the couch, arms behind his head. Ryuu, never leaving his side, kinda reminded him of Akamaru...before he shot him.

Oh my! Where did that come from? (I'm just joking guys, I'm against animal cruelty.)

"Uhh, why don't you go and see the Blanket Show? I heard it rocks." Kiba replied, rolling his eyes. Gosh kids could be annoying!

"Oh really? What's it about?"

"Well, I heard when you get into bed, you're visited by lot's of hot chicks. Like, fully naked and stuff."

"Oh awesome! I'm going!" The pink haired boy shouted. "Oh...and Kiba?"

"Hm?"

"Thanks."

It kinda made Kiba a little upset that he had to lie, but who cares? He got rid of the annoying little brat, leaving him to prowl around and see what kind of things Sakura and Sasuke had to 'play' with. He sat up and gently crept past Ryuu and Misaki's room and checked to see if Ryuu was in bed.

He chuckled. Gullible.

He was about to continue down the hall, until a little female version of Sasuke appeared before him.

"Oh yeh, there's two kids."

"Some babysitter. You forgot how many kids you were babysitting? You're worst than that fox boy Naruto." She snapped, crossing her arms.

"Look, I went a little overboard drinking sake today with Neji and Chouji. I didn't really want to do this, so kid, do me a favor and go to bed."

"I'm not a 'kid',"

"That's really cute, but I'm serious."

"Well, so am I," Misaki said as she positioned herself in her fighting stance Sasuke had taught her. Kiba chuckled to himself. As she began to charge, he put out his hand before him and stopped her with the palm of his hand.

"Heh, Sasuke is soooo not better than me. Go. Now."

"Fine, I'll accept defeat. But you wait until tomorrow. I'll tell Sasuke alright. And then we'll see who's bragging." Misaki spat as she walked past him and into her bedroom.

"Note to self: Never offer to babysit."

---

He continued on his journey to the master bedroom. The Uchiha mansion was quite large, and Kiba found himself turning in the wrong direction a lot of the time. Finally, a large double door came into view, and Kiba literally jumped for joy. He bounded in on four legs and landed softly on the king size bed. He giggled like a school girl as the water bed rebelled against his body.

'_Sakura and Sasuke must have loads of fun with this!'_ he thought, smiling. Once he remembered his objective for being in the room, he began sneaking around, starting with Sakura's pantie drawers.

He slowly opened the drawer, trying to conceal his excitement. His eyes were squinted and his mouth was molded into a toothy grin. Peering inside, he placed his hand in and felt around the silky material, finally looking inside.

Kiba's mouth was agape at what he saw. "...S-s-sakura wears granny panties?!?!"

"No. I do."

The dog boy spun around to the source of the voice to find a large old lady towering over him. He almost screamed as she wrapped her large hand around the young boy's neck. The determination in her eyes told him she wasn't going to stop until she heard a satisfying snap.

"I-i-i'm s-s-s-s-ss-s-soorrrry!" He managed to choke as she released his neck from her death grip. He held his throat with relief. "Thank you. Who are you?"

"I'm one of the maids."

Kiba slowly nodded. "Oh, okay."

"What were you doing in my room, looking at my underwear...?"

"Actually, I was looking for-"

"Looking for someone to spend the night with?" she purred seductively.

Kiba's mouth hit the floor. "A-ah, nonononono, I was looking for-"

"Haha, it's okay. I already know what your looking for! Most of the male babysitters we have look for it too. You want the master bedroom, ne? Looking for Sakura-chan's lingerie drawer eh?"

Kiba didn't know how to reply.If he said 'yes', she might tell Sasuke, and if he said 'no', and she was truly genuine, he might miss his chance.

"Down the hall, last door."

"Ummm...thanks?" Kiba replied unsure.

"No problem, I get it a lot. There's only one thing I want in return."

Kiba gasped. She winked.

"I'm kidding! You youngsters take everything so seriously!"

He sighed with relief.

-----

So there he was. Gold glowing from the pantie draw of Uchiha Sakura. Tears flowed from his eyes. Tears of joy. He picked up a lacey black g-string and sniffed it. Joy. Bliss. Lust. That pretty much summed up what he was feeling. Oh yeah, and horny.

Slowly, his hands lowered down to the fly of his pants. He unzipped them in slow mo and pulled his underwear down. And then...and then...!!! He...URINATED ON THEM!?!

"Oh yeah, marking my territory! Suffer you Uchiha bastard!" Kiba cried in a triumphantly evil way. Soon, he was out of control. Pee was flying everywhere. On their bed, all over Sakura's vanity, in her underwear drawer and on the door handle. He was crazy!

Unsatisfied with his evil doing, Kiba bolted out of the room and down the hall, spraying everything he could with urine. Curious about the noise Kiba was making, Misaki stepped out of the room, Ryuu tailing along. The two looked confusingly at the young man with his privates flailing everywhere, and Misaki turned on her heel and walked right back in the room, slamming the door behind her.

Ryuu began shaking. He was scared. Very scared. A crazy man urinating on everything was running towards him. He turned, but came face to face with a shut door.

"MISSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKIIIIIIII! HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE!" He cried like a dying cow as he clawed desperately at the wooden door.

Inside he heard her snickering. "YOU EVIL WITCH!" He yelled before getting pee'd on.

---------

Morning had come and Sakura and Sasuke returned to their residence, quite tired. A disgusting stench filled their nostrils, enimating from a brunette boy lying on the couch. Sasuke looked at him, and then at the coffee table. He was shocked and appalled.

"Sasuke-kun? What is it?" Sakura asked, looking at him.

He held up a dvd cover, and on the front, in bold red letters were "WORLDS NAUGHTIEST DOGS!"

**----------xxx---------**

Well guys, hope you enjoyed it. I know it's short, but I try. I've gotta update 'This Life', and in the reviews, most of you sounded curious as to what the suprise was, so I better hurry and update now.

Oh yeah, If you wanna know what the 'Blanket Show' is, it's a trick my mum used to use to get me to bed at a young age. Pretty boring if you ask me. Nothing happened! So every night I used to ask "Why is it the blanket show?" but now I realise, it's probably what you dream while sleeping or something...if that made any sense. Oh well, I try.

**Edit:** I got a review saying "...your mum tricked you into going into bed with naked chicks??" That's not what I meant about my Blanket Show lol, just Kiba's way of making Ryuu go away.

REVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEW! Please? (bats lashes)

S.V


	7. Punishments

**A/N:** Hallo!

Sorry for the wait. But, y'know, life calls, and I was at a bit of a writers block. But now that I've got some free time on my hands, because I've just had my wisdom teeth out, which was the first time for me in surgery, and it sucked, I've got some spare time. So, here I am, sitting at my computer, with pantyhose wrapped around my head, holding peas to my cheeks to stop the swelling, and thinking that I haven't updated in a while, so now I am.

Please enjoy!

A groan from the lounge brought everyone's attention to the brunette boy currently sleeping on it. His eyes gently flickered, but did not open. Sasuke stood besides Sakura frowning. Misaki and Ryuu were hidden behind their parents. Sasuke, holding a terrifyingly large pair of scissors, bent down.

"Err, Sasuke-kun," Sakura started, worry coating her voice. "I know your angry and all, but I don't think you should do _that_."

"Why not?" He asked, snipping the scissors menacingly. "He asked for it. _Especially_ after last night."

"It was horrible!" Ryuu wailed, burying his head in Sakura's clothes. "The stench! The sound! The O-shape of his face! The way his eyes rolled back in his skull as if he was—"

"_Okay._" Sakura said nervously, looking around. "That's starting to sound a little sexual."

"Nobody pee's on Sakura's panties but _me_," Sasuke growled.

Sakura stared at him blankly.

"Oh, okay. Nobody pee's on my babies."

"You…you called us your 'babies'!" Ryuu exclaimed happily, waterfall tears coming from his eyes. "Does that mean you've finally excepted me?"

"What the hell are you on about?" Sasuke wondered. "I was talking about these awesome ninja sandals that Sakura bought me a couple of days ago. Don't they look hot?" He asked, holding up a pair of red sandals that currently had puke green stink lines emanating from them.

"As hot as a pair of ninja sandals can get," Misaki muttered, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, why did you get red? I thought you liked dark, emo colours like navy blue and black?"

"Red ones go faster!"

"…"

Sasuke snipped the scissors threatening fashion.

"Okay, okay!"

"Um, before we got off topic, wasn't I trying to stop you from doing something?" Sakura pondered absentmindedly, tapping her index finger on her chin. "Oh yeah, you were going to do something to Kiba to get back at him!"

"Oh, yes! You just reminded me to hurt Kiba, who could've gotten away with it if you didn't open your big mouth!" Sasuke chimed.

"_What?"_

"Nothing deary!"

Sasuke bent down over the brunette boy with an evil gleam in his eyes, snipping the scissors slowly.

"I'm going to _enjoy_ this."

"Maybe I should stop him…" Sakura mumbled to herself. "But he _did_ pee all over my underwear…and my kids…and my furniture…"

Snip. Snip. Snip.

"And the doors…and the maids quarters…"

Snip. Snip. Snip.

"And the coffee table—"

Snip. Snip. Snip.

"Sasuuuuke-kuuuun! Noooo!" Sakura shouted, suddenly taking a dive. Her voice deepened in a dramatic way as everything went in slow motion.

"Huuuuuh?" Sasuke grunted manly as the slow motion played. He turned around to see Sakura dive right past him and onto the floor beside the couch. He shook his head slowly, ashamed. "Duuuumb biiiiiitch."

"I know your angry Sasuke-kun," Sakura warned, standing up. She placed her hands on Sasuke's shoulders to calm him down. "But we can get through this, okay? No one needs to get hurt."

Sasuke's eyes hardened. "No! You don't understand how I feel!"

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura sighed, taking the role as the officer. "Just put down the scissors, and we can talk about this."

Sasuke looked as though he was fighting a war within himself. "I…I…"

"You can do it. If you _believe._"

"Okay!"

"Wait, what?"

Sasuke continued forwards and snipped the scissors, barely below his—

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Sakura, who had closed her eyes, pried them open to look at the damage caused. Kiba was stiff with fright below Sasuke, his eyes wide as humanly possible and his lips in a firm line. Sasuke sat above him, scissors millimetres below his nose, snipping carefully, but furiously.

"What the hell are you _doing_?!"

Sasuke sat up pert, placing a dainty hand on his hip. "Tch! These nose hairs have been bothering me from day one!"

"NOOO!" Kiba cried. "I _like_ them!"

"Why?"

"Because someday, I want to grow a moustache!"

"…From your nose hairs?" Misaki questioned.

"Duh Captain Obvious." Sasuke rolled his eyes at his daughter. "Where else do they come from?"

"Err…" Misaki looked around nervously, and then looked at her mother, who had slapped her forehead with her palm. "Moustaches don't grow from nose hairs."

"YOU LIE!" The two boys cried in unison. Ryuu stepped forward all hoity toity with his hands on his hips.

"Oh yeah brainiac? Were _do_ they come from then? Your _ears_?" He laughed. The two boys laughed along side him and Ryuu high-fived Sasuke.

"No, there's little hairs beneath your nose on your upper lip. Called Peach Fluff."

Sasuke stopped laughing and slapped Ryuu upside the head.

"Owies…"

* * *

"Kiba, you stand accused of urinating all over the Uchiha's Property. How do you plead?"

"Not—"

"GUILTY!" Sasuke screamed, slamming down his fist on the table, sending breakfast flying everywhere. "Get out of my house."

"But, what about the pay?"

Kiba glanced at Sasuke pleadingly, but stopped when he saw him. Sasuke's eyes were on fire, horns sprouted from his temple, demonic wings had emerged from his back, long fangs grew from his canines and somehow, a monobrow found its way into the mix.

"Something wrong?" Sasuke grunted, flames shooting from his mouth as he spoke. In the background, a woman screamed.

Kiba shook his head and suddenly everything went back to normal. "No. I'm…going to go. I think I can hear Akamaru calling me."

"Oh, well, see you round." Sasuke and Sakura waved. Kiba sprinted from the house, muttering something about seeing the devil. Just before he was out of ear shot, he heard Sakura cooing over Sasuke.

"Aww, Sasu-kun! You're my little angel!"

* * *

"Did you know beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts and worms like fried bacon?" Ryuu asked, reading a book that had the title **'Totally Useless Facts That Everyone Will Hate You For'**

"And were you stupid enough to eat them?" Sasuke asked, lying across the couch, his head on Sakura's lap, who was currently playing with his hair. Misaki had her feet propped up on the edge of the lounge near Sasuke's hands, as he was tickling her feet.**(A/N:** I _**LOVE**_ my feet being tickled. Tee Hee!)

"No, but this guy was."

There was silence as Ryuu kept reading and everyone returned to watching television.

"Did you know, a cockroach can live several weeks after you cut its head off?"

"Keep asking and we'll find out how long you'll last." Misaki muttered dangerously.

More silence.

"Did you know—"

Ryuu was stopped as the book was torn out of his hands by Sasuke and launched into the open lounge fire.

"Did you know that I just threw that fucking annoying book in the fire?"

Ryuu's lip wobbled and his eyes teared up. "M-m-mummy!"

"Aww," Sakura cooed, hugging Ryuu as he cried. "Sasuke-kun, that wasn't a very nice thing to do!" She patted the crying boy and whispered to Sasuke so only he could hear. "Thank you, honey. I have no clue as to why I even bought that fucking thing."

"Whenever I do bad, you smack me!" He cried. "Smack daddy later on!"

Sasuke grinned. "She will, son. She will."

"Aw, okay Ryuu. And to make it even _more_ of a punishment, I'll handcuff him to the bed so he can't move, gag him and take out my whip, okay?"

"Yeah!"

Sasuke grinned wider. "Oh no, what will I do?"

"And wear your wrestling outfit, the one that kicks ass. Y'know, the black leather one? The one that you said a crazy knife man attacked you with, and that's how it had so many tears?"

Sakura nodded and Sasuke grinned even _wider_

"And your cat woman mask, when we played super heroes."

"Damn, Ryuu. Look what you've gotten me into." Sasuke replied in a fake afraid tone.

"You deserve it!"

"I know, I know." Sasuke grinned evilly. "And I'll try not to enjoy it."

* * *

Later that night, Ryuu lay in bed, grinning as he heard Sakura and Sasuke talk about the punishment. Just as they were getting started, Ryuu closed his eyes, drifting into sleep.

"Sasuke-kun! You naughty, naughty boy!"

**Smack.**

"I'm going to teach you a lesson!"

**Smack.**

"I'm not going to learn it!" Sasuke rebutted. Ryuu opened his mouth in shock. How _dare_ he go against mother?

"Then I'm going to have to smack you harder!"

**SMACK.**

Ryuu wasn't able to fall asleep for a few more hours.

Sorry about the length. I had fun writing it though. xD

R&R!

-S.V


End file.
